Let your true self shine

At school, I was the one who never wore jeans. I was the tall girl with the long hair… the one who made her own clothes, decorated her leggings with a stencil and a fabric pen and wore her Dad’s jumper as a skirt and made skirts by hand from sari fabric. The clothes I wore, were an expression of how I felt… different. I think we all feel that, to an extent.

Whilst at Uni, weekends were spent trawling the flea markets and charity shops, seeking out garments that made my heart sing… clothes which already had histories. At times, I felt like an actor in a play. I loved getting dressed up and acting out my life in the city. But as I grew a little older, found a job, settled down, I expressed myself less and less through my attire. This was partly because I was no longer finding such gems in the charity shops, but it was also a case of losing my sense of personal style.

Having kids has a massive impact on what I chose to wear. During pregnancy, choices are limited. First time around, I teamed nighties with leggings, but after the birth of my son, practical took over from pretty as my priority in an attempt to find clothes I could easily breast feed in and that covered my newly stretched figure. As I lost my baby weight I found that I regained neither my original figure nor my sense of style and felt lost putting outfits together. This sense of being lost as to what I should wear, was a reflection of how I was feeling in general. In becoming a mother, I had gained a baby, but outside of being Mum, I had lost my identity.

Ten years on, now that big boy is almost looking me in the eye and small boy is at school and five, I am finally finding my way back to me. In doing more of the things I love and earning an income from my strengths I am finding my own voice again and with this, my sense of style is returning. I am not trying to please anyone but me and I am not trying to be anyone else. I am rediscovering who I am and how I want to show up in the world and it feels empowering. I am still Mum, yes, but I am also Julia; a woman in her own right, with a voice and opinions and needs. I am embracing my difference and letting my true self shine once again.

With my love,
Julia x

p.s. I would love to hear if any of this resonates with you… let me know your experiences in the comments below please. Let’s get a conversation flowing.

 

Challenge your artist’s block and prove your limiting beliefs wrong

Last week I asked a simple question on my Facebook page: “What is your biggest block when it comes to making art?”

A flurry of responses ensued as friends answered and commented, acknowledging, discussing and reflecting on the fears and comments of others. My curiosity about the blocks other people experience stems from a desire to understand and overcome my own. There are days when I can paint freely, with little thought for outcome and others when, without even knowing it, I stand in my own way when it comes to making art.

Some of the most talented people I know responded that they didn’t feel good enough or experienced, from time to time, a lack of self-worth. For most, it was a lack of time in the first place, but several people also mentioned an ebb and flow of energy and inspiration or enthusiasm, something which, it was also noted, did not correspond with available time. For many years, I had noticed a spike in ideas and creative energy that would occur at periods when I was tied up in other projects that allowed little time to make art. Then, as the projects came to an end and I had time free to make art once again, the energy and ideas were all gone and when I sat down to create, I was blocked. I recognised this as a pattern.

For many, myself included, a disconnect between the images we are able to create in our minds and on paper is a barrier. It was recognising this and moving through it that allowed me to make progress with my art. Abandoning any idea of what I was trying to achieve and allowing my art to just flow brought an enormous sense of freedom to my art-making. It was not quality, necessarily, that was an outcome of this, but it sure helped with the quantity of work I was producing. As I had no intention of exhibiting and was creating just for the joy of it, quality did not matter, but with practice comes learning and progress. I talked about letting myself off the hook last Summer.

So how do you focus on the process and not get hung up on the end result? Sometimes it can be a matter of “just” creating… of making art even (or especially) at times when we feel least like doing it. Part way through writing this post, I became aware that I had not painted for a few days and in spending time writing, I was choosing this over my art. I made a conscious decision, right then, to step away from the computer and paint. I set the alarm for ten minutes to see what I could create in that short space of time with no intention other than to put brush and paint to paper and let go. The image at the top of this post was the outcome. As I painted, I observed what was going in on my body and in my head. At first, I felt relaxed, happy that I was painting again, but just five minutes in, I was starting to feel tense as I became aware that I was judging my own creation and had to make a concerted effort to breathe through it and let go of an attachment to outcome again. “It does not matter what this looks like” I told myself, “I will share it anyway to illustrate my post and my point. I will paint through this feeling.” As I painted through it, I allowed myself to feel the flow of the brush, to enjoy the colours, to paint regardless of my own thoughts or judgements. Ten minutes in, as the alarm went off, I decided to continue… not because I was happy with the outcome or because I was determined to improve it, but because I was in flow… I was painting and enjoying it.

Just starting can be a block in itself sometimes. The effort needed to gather the necessary materials and begin can seem too big. This was another point raised in the Facebook discussion. When I do make the effort to make art, I am rewarded more often than not, and I find myself asking, “why don’t I do this more often?”. The answer is to have your materials close at hand, so that starting is made easier.

Art is a form of self-expression. It is a way of connecting with ourselves. We can use art to unwind or to process the things we cannot put into words. Some use art to help focus and I have found myself, in recent weeks, doodling on a page as I listen to someone as I find it helps me concentrate. So why then do we feel guilty about making art as some of us do? We feel that there are other things we should be doing, or worry that others think we should be doing something else instead. Freedom of expression is vital to our health and well-being. You deserve to spend time doing things that nourish your mind, body and spirit. Art saves lives.

What can you do to overcome your blocks and shift the energy?
If art is important to you, make art.

Acknowledge and address your patterns.
Challenge your limiting beliefs; prove them wrong…
If you are afraid of the blank page, go pick up a newspaper and make art like Austin Kleon. If you think you don’t have time, switch off the computer or put down your phone right now, go pick up a pen (biro, pencil, whatever, the tools are not important) and draw something (anything, even a doodle) in the next ten minutes. Go show someone. Ask them to do the same. Make art together.
How your art looks is not as important as how it makes you feel.
If art makes you feel good, you deserve to make art.

Please do share your thoughts, feelings, experiences and even your art below.
And if you need a creative kick start or a little bit of hand holding as you challenge those creative blocks, please check out my upcoming course.
With my love,
Julia x

How my body-centred art makes me feel more like me

My full body art

My self-expression, of late, has been largely focused on the body.

I have been using my body as a vehicle for self-expression in more ways than one… dancing more, stretching more and, in turn, using my own form as a starting point for making art. It feels to good.

As with yoga, the more you do it, the more aware you become of the way you carry yourself; the way you sit whilst driving the car; the way your body feels whilst standing at the sink, hands in warm soapy water.

The more I use my body for self-expression with my art, the more aware I become of the way I am expressing myself in the day to day. Just as making art is becoming a habit, so is moving and flowing and I am feeling so much more connected; more confident; at ease, and whilst I am more aware of my posture and I find myself, just naturally, doing a little dance here, adding a little gesture there. I am also more conscious of the way I dress and what feels good and enables me to feel flowing and free. Pure self-expression is slowly moving through every part of me.

On Monday, with the absence of someone to draw around my body, I lay on my dining room floor and attempted to draw around myself onto a long roll of lining paper. With some difficulty, I drew a wobbly outline, squeezing it onto the narrow paper for my piece. And then I began to fill it. Starting at the feet, I filled my form with grass and roots and flowers and a big tree, ending, right at the top with a glowing head that reflected how I sometimes experience life and how I would really like to feel… not every moment of the day, but more.

The purpose of this work, apart from pure self-expression, was to gain clarity.

Before creating this piece I set an intention and on finishing it asked questions of my art and I was surprised how well it responded to me. I will not explain this right now, but I will share with you my questions and answers here.

I would love to know what you think or if you have any experience of the effects of delving more deeply into your own creativity as this is something I will soon be sharing more of here.

If you think you might like to explore with me… to begin your own journey of creative self-expression through art, keep September 21 free… I will be running my first one day workshop in London and I would love you to join me.

Setting an intention and questioning my art